Philadelphia PA – In a rambling, confused closing statement from former NBC sportscaster Don Tollefson, eyewitnesses reported the embattled media personality somehow implicated himself in the brutal murders of both Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.

Tollefson represented himself against accusations of stealing more than $340,000 from sports fans through fundraisers for his charity Winning Ways. His closing arguments reportedly lasted more than 25 minutes in front of a stunned jury, who quickly found “Tolly” guilty of all five original counts, and then additionally found him guilty of the 1994 double murder charge originally levied against Simpson.

“I in no way did anything illegal. Those people who bought tickets and trips from my charity were recouped of all their losses. I am 100 percent innocent of all charges,” Tollefson reportedly said. “Unlike the murder charges that should have been brought against me in the early 90s for my brutal slaughtering of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. Boy, I gave them what they deserved, that’s for sure.”

Tollefson then produced an old, brittle leather glove from his breast pocket, which he proceeded to use to mop his brow, leaving a streak of blood across his forehead.

“There was nothing sneaky about this, unlike how I sneakily crept into Nicole’s home on that fateful night, June 12th 1994,” he said.

As the judge urged him to remain quite, Tollefson ignored his pleas and continued his diatribe.

“Hell, I wasn’t even friends with OJ. I was just bored, wondered what it would be like to kill a man with my bare hands,” he said, eyes wide as he looked down at his shaking fists.

Finishing his closing argument, Tollefson picked up a courtroom microphone and theatrically dropped it to the ground, as he was then forcefully handcuffed by courtroom bailiffs.

Eyewitnesses reported that Tollefson could be heard yelling “What I do! What I do!” as he was led away from the courtroom.