Rex Ryan

Buddy Ryan places bounty on Tom Landry

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Fielding several interviews during his first day in Heaven.

The Afterlife, Heaven – Immediately after entering through the Pearly Gates, popular ex-Eagles head coach Buddy Ryan donned a pair of aviator sunglasses, hitched a pair of sweat socks up to his knees, and declared the first denizen of the ethereal plane that really decked the famous Dallas Cowboys head coach Tom Landry would receive $100.

Ryan sauntered into the afterlife and immediately hooked up with former defensive stalwarts Jerome Brown and Andre “Dirty” Waters, riling the two up with a fevered and passionate speech compelling them to blindside Landry the next time the ex-coach walked down Heaven Boulevard to a replica of Cowboys Stadium, where he relives some of his greatest moments as a head coach.

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Lesean McCoy: ‘Travis Long tore his ACL because Chip Kelly is a racist’

lesean-mccoy-buffalo-billsBuffalo, NY – Lesean McCoy just couldn’t help himself in the first week of Buffalo Bills training camp, as the former Eagles running back opened up yet again about his perception of Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.

“I’m not saying anything, nah, I’m not saying anything at all,” McCoy said after the conclusion of yesterday’s practice. “But do you see any of the white linebackers tearing their ACLs down in Philadelphia?”

When asked what he meant by his comments, McCoy said he “didn’t have to explain myself to nobody. Nobody.”

The stunned media didn’t follow up with anymore questions, but that didn’t stop McCoy from continuing.

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