Matt Geiger

The time a drunk 76ers fan demanded Matt Geiger punch Keith Van Horn in the face…and he did it


You are one ugly motherfucker.

Back in 1999 I saw Matt Geiger viciously elbow Keith Van Horn in the face at the behest of a pair of drunkards at the First Union Center.

Let me back up. The year was 1999. I was 17 and the weight of the world had yet to completely crush my spirit. The 76ers were a few years away from being relevant, but they were entertaining and the seeds had been planted for greatness. Allen Iverson was crossing up Jordan, the country was prosperous and led by an adulterer instead of a dunce, and my buddy’s dad had bought lower level season tickets for 1998-1999 for no reason whatsoever.

Seriously, I think he went to like, maybe 4 games that entire season. So who took up the slack? Yours truly. What a time to be alive.


Sam Hinkie concocts Ocean’s Eleven-esque caper to win NBA draft lottery

Hinkie glasses

(For best effect, please listen to the song at the end of the article.)

Philadelphia, PA – 76ers GM Sam Hinkie, along with 10 other Philadelphia basketball legends, left for Brooklyn this morning in five non-descript black SUVs, having spent the past several weeks concocting a plan to assure the 76ers win the NBA draft lottery this evening.