Chicago Bears

The Eagles are crashing the playoff party and they’re ready to poop in your piano

Uh oh. Uh OH. UH OH……the Eagles have forced their way into the playoffs party and they’re ready to fuck some shit up.

Nobody wanted them in. Nobody thought they were coming in. Everyone was set for a calm and collected first round exit from Kirk Cousins, not a whole lot of mess, not a whole lot of fuss.

The Eagles threw a trashcan through the playoff window a la Cactus Jack and they’re looking for a piano to poop in to completely ruin the party for everyone else.


Carson Wentz can’t stop saying “Da Bears,” annoying everyone


Bill Swerski and his Super Fans.

Chicago, Illinois – Perhaps running on adrenaline and nervous energy leading up to his first Monday Night Football game, sources have confirmed that Carson Wentz cannot stop quoting lines from the Saturday Night Live recurring “Super Fans” sketch, popularized in the early 90s by George Wendt and Chris Farley.

The recurring sketch, “Bill Swerski’s Super Fans,” popularized the catchphrase “Daaaaaa Bears,” which has become a prominent saying in sports lexicon. Wentz, sources have noted, has approximately said the phrase close to 50 times during the morning walk through, quarterbacks meeting and media session.


Who will make our Eagles picks this week?

WheelerWhat a debut last week from our inaugural picker for the 2016-2017 Philadelphia Eagles season. Chris Wheeler just BACK LEGGED it out of the park for us, successfully predicting the Eagles would defeat the Browns and cover the spread in week one.

That magnificent toupeed bastard looked middle in and absolutely crushed his prediction.

But we tread on, bringing in yet another special guest to make our picks in week 2. Will he or she be as spot on as Wheels was in week 1? We’ll see Monday night when the Eagles take on the Bears during Monday Night Football (ALLLLLLLL YOUR ROWDY FRIENDS ON MONDAY NIGHT) in week 2.

Here’s our record so far:

Win/Loss prediction record: 1-0

Against the spread: 1-0

But who have we brought in to make the week 2 pick? Will they keep the good times rolling?