Philadelphia, PA – In a stunning move this morning, acting Phillies President Pat Gillick announced that GM Ruben Amaro Jr. has been let go from his contract. He cited years of down play from the team, questionable free agent signings and one of the worst trade records from any general manager in all of professional baseball.

“We felt this is what was best for the Phillies. For Ruben to take them from where they were in 2009 after I left and to have them be here…my goodness, why were we keeping him on for this long,” Gillick said.

He cited Ruben’s inability to judge talent, his inability to make a trade for the right player at the right moment, and ….

and…

and.

………

Ok, so this was going to be one of those big, dumb April Fools posts that so many websites love to post. I thought about writing something saying that Ruben had dropped dead of a heart attack, but even that was just a bit too mean.

However, while writing this, I started to realize that this “joke” will never happen, despite the “joke” being the obvious direction the team should go.

I am depressed.

I’m going to go text my wife and tell her we’re getting a divorce. That will be a better April Fools joke than this stupid article.