Chris Christie’s CBP comments likely stem from embarrassing concessions incident in 2012


A model New York Mets fan if there ever was one.

An anonymous source from within the Phillies organization reached out to the Coggin Toboggan offices this afternoon with information to help “clear up” the comments made by New Jersey Governor Chris Christie this past week.

The high ranking source with the Phillies said Christie’s unprovoked commentary about the organization likely stemmed from an incident in 2012 when the governor visited CBP for a tilt against the New York Mets.

Appearing on SportsNet New York last week, the governor notably remarked that the “Phillies suck” and went on to decry the state of the Phillies stadium, Citizens Bank Park.

“They’re from Philadelphia. They’re an awful team. They’re an angry, bitter fan base and it’s not safe for civilized people to go to Citizens Bank Park if you want to root for the other team,” he told the radio host.

For the 2012 series against the Mets, Christie, the source claimed, called months in advance and declared it was an “absolute necessity” to procure tickets to the game, which happened to fall on a popular Dollar Dog Night promotion date.

He purchased three tickets to the event. One seat was used to hold his concessions and the other was a necessity to contain the “over-spillage of girth from New Jersey’s fine governor,” according to the source.

Around the fifth inning, Christie was “cut off” from his section’s concession stand, the source said, after the state leader reportedly berated the grill operator after being told he would have to wait several minutes for them to fill his order of a “baker’s dozen” of the dollar dogs.

“He kept screaming at the food employee that his ‘party’ was incredibly hungry and would be ‘very unpleasant’ if the hot dogs were not ready posthaste,” the Phillies representative said.

“It was very obvious Governor Christie was attending the game by himself. This was not the first time that night we had a problem with him at concessions, either. One of our employees had to listen to the governor claim it was a ‘travesty of justice’ that he would have to wait for the ketchup pump to be refilled.”

Christie was reportedly banned from the grill, and after making several ponderous, sweat-soaked laps around CBP, found he had been “cut-off” from all of the food purveyors for the rest of the game.

“He then flew into a rage and tipped over a cotton candy stand. He had stuffed several sticks of the sweet, pink spun sugar candy into his maw before security could contain the incident and eject him from CBP. That’s likely why he doesn’t enjoy the stadium,” the source said.

At press time, it was reported that 20 security members were needed to load the governor onto the back of a flat bed truck and another five employees to accompany the governor and keep him wet for his trip back to the ocean.

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