A nation of football fans were treated to a spectacular weekend of professional and college match ups, as the #2, #3 and #4 nationally ranked college teams lost in nail biting fashion and the NFL hosted several of the finest games its seen all season.
However, the vaunted Patriots vs. Seahawks Sunday nightcap didn’t live up to fan expectations.
In a national survey, fans who stayed up to watch the 31-24 Seahawks victory felt disappointed that they didn’t witness a career ending Tom Brady injury or a stadium collapse that enveloped both teams under tons of rubble, concrete and rebar.
“Yeah it was fine I suppose. Pretty fun to see Tom Brady not hook up with Gronk at the end to lose, but that just meant the Seahawks won. God I hate both of those teams,” Tamara Johannsen of St. Paul Minnesota said.
“Is it too much to ask to have seen Russell Wilson dislocate an ankle? I would have settled for a Pete Carrol heart attack on the sideline. See him crumple into a heap in front of a national audience. Oh well. Can’t all be winners I suppose,” she said.
The results of the survey showed these would have been preferred outcomes for the game:
- Bill Belichick receives news during the third quarter that his wife has been cheating on him for years. Breaks down and cries in front of the television cameras before being trampled by an out of control Legarette Blount.
- Patriots lose in the same fashion, but a web cam shows a live reaction of Bill “The Sports Guy” Simmons watching the result.
- Both teams come down with the Spanish flu and the game has to be cancelled. Both teams are forced to take a loss.
Respondents also noted they would have been pleased with a well fought, hard-nosed game, as long as both teams were involved in fatal plane crashes the next day.