Tebow couldn’t have been better! vs. Ehh lets not go too crazy here

Tebow couldn’t have been better!

Eagles

Anthony John Vincenzzo.

Unbelievable. What a way to ingratiate yourself with the hard nosed, blue collared fans of Philadelphia. I cannot remember a better debut in my lifetime, even my buddy Sully said he was impressed and Sully is not easily won over. He’s been drinking the same brand of beer for the past 25 years (Narragansett if you wanted to get him a case for the feast of San Gennaro) so he’s a hard man to convince.

But you can’t argue with the results. One touchdown on a sweet six-yard run and a 50% completion rate is absolutely nothing to sneeze at. Plus, 69 yards (69 bro!) through the air in a half is not too shabby when you’re trying to manage the clock and run out the end of the game.

He had poise. Poise is something you just can’t teach in this league. I was telling Sully he reminded me of a young Bobby Hoying out there, with shades of Koy Detmer. He can be something special.

Yeah I had a few cans of Schlitz this afternoon and it was hot…and I did miss most of the fourth quarter because I had to sit in the shade for an hour, but that kids got the goods. I’ve been an Eagles fan for years and he’s head and shoulders above anything Donovan McChoke ever showed me.

God he sucked.

Personally, I don’t know why the Eagles couldn’t trade Barkley right now for a 3rd round pick. He played well this afternoon, but he’s no Tebow. Sanchez should look out or he’ll be looking for day labor work at the South Philly Home Depot if he’s not careful (I’m no racist, it’s just funny, ok?).

I’m definitely going out TONIGHT after Sheila puts the kids to sleep and does the rest of the chores to buy a Tebow jersey. It’ll look great next to the Rocky jersey I only bring out for the most important Eagles game.

Ehh lets not go too crazy here

Jesus Christ, savior, professional football analyst.

Jesus Christ, savior, professional football analyst.

Yeah, ok everyone, lets all just take a few deep breaths and calm the fuck down about Tim Tebow. It was two quarters of play, in mop up duty, against third stringers who will be mopping up shit in a Burger King bathroom a month from now.

Tim’s a good friend of mine. He really is. I like the kid, even if he can be a bit overbearing and irritating at time, but he’s a smart young man who will surely be successful at anything he chooses to do in his life.

Unfortunately for him, that one thing definitely isn’t going to be football.

Come on people! He was 6 for 12 in passing attempts, 69 yards, and so many horrible, horrible throws. He went to some quarterback guru, dedicated himself to improving his throwing motion for more than a year, and he still looks like a white trash meth addict trying to hurl a lawn dart into the side of his mobile home.

Do you remember what happened when you freaked out about Koy Detmer? Bobby Hoying? Even Matt Barkley a few years ago? They suck and they suck hard. Tebow is worse than all of them and you’re holding him up as the savior of Philadelphia Eagles football.

I know saviors, and Tim Tebow is no savior.

He’s a good guy, he’s a fun guy (even though he may be a bit preachy at times for even me) but he’s just not a football player. I’ve been studying the game for a long time, and he just doesn’t have it.

Believe me, you’ll all be denying him (maybe even three times) if he is forced into action this year.

And if he has to start multiple games for you? Jesus H. Christ, may god have mercy on your souls.

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