We’ve always held an affinity for Croatia…from its lush, rolling green hills, to it’s picturesque beaches…so when a Croatian basketball fan sent a Tweet to our account about Dario Saric last week we happily engaged in a brief discussion using the Twitter translation feature:
See? Nothing horrible. Just a fan wanting to know if I heard anything about Dario Saric coming over to the U.S. next year. I responded:
We reached out and gave the gift of humor, which in some countries is the greatest gift of all. Apparently not so in Croatia, or they just don’t understand the subtleties and deft humorous hand many of my articles possess.
He did not respond.
Undeterred, I pressed on, reaching out to him about our love for Furkan Aldemir, well documented on this site…and he never responded.
Almost a week went by, and I will admit, I was still stinging a bit from my Croatian friend’s hostility. But friendship conquers all, I thought, and sent him another Tweet just last night as I was considering hanging myself while watching the putrid Philadelphia Phillies.
You can see his response below the above Tweet.
Using the Twitter translation function, this is what it says in English. This is 100% true:
“@CogginToboggan @Phillies Uncle I’m in a bad mood I’m not dealing with you for God’s sake take a salmon the go field.”
Uncle?! Salmon?! What the hell Bjelica! I thought we were buddies? You were my man on the street in Croatia, feeding us crucial information about Dario Saric and spreading the good word of The Coggin Toboggan throughout your wonderful country. Now you want me to take my salmon and go out to a field? How DARE you.
Frankly, I don’t put all of the blame on Bjelica. I put most of the blame on the Phillies. The Phillies translate throughout the world as complete shit and are offensive in any language, just the mere mention of the team will get you hung and quartered in some countries.
But as much as the Phillies are garbage and culturally and ethnically offensive, I’m nervous that I’ve gotten myself mixed up with some Croatian street toughs here.
This about sums everything up.
UPDATE AS OF 9 P.M. LAST NIGHT:
All is forgiven. WE LOVE CROATIA!
It’s also come to my attention that Nemanja Bjelica is a Croatian national basketball player who declared himself eligible for the NBA draft, not the name of the Twitter user. I am a complete moron.