Philadelphia, PA – The Redskins had just ripped off a killer touchdown to put the visiting team up 27-22 over the Eagles with less than two-minutes to play in yesterday’s NFC East clash. Even though the Redskins failed on their two-point conversion attempt, spirits were rock bottom in the stands and on the field for Philadelphia.
Something needed to be done. Someone needed to stand up and do what was right.
That person was Nancy McClain, a 10-year employee of the Eagles in-game entertainment division, who in a moment of absolute brilliance suggested dusting off the old Rocky soundtrack LP sitting in the corner of the PA booth and piping it through the speakers of Lincoln Financial Field.
A Scottish diplomat on a recently diplomacy mission to England.
Philadelphia, PA – The Philadelphia Police Department is taking the threat of a Scottish Professional Football League Match potentially being hosted at Lincoln Financial Field in early 2017 very seriously, city officials announced this morning.
Philadelphia Police Commissioner Charles H. Ramsey addressed the threat this morning at City Hall.
“Yes, we have confirmation that a Scottish football match may be held at Lincoln Financial Field at an unknown date in early 2017. I’d like to stress that our citizens remain calm and begin to stockpile alcohol as quickly as possible,” Ramsey said.
“Lord knows you won’t be able to find any when the time comes.”
Philadelphia, PA – A dirty and disheveled Tony Siragusa is still wandering around the end zone of Lincoln Financial Field four days after the conclusion of Sunday’s Eagles vs. Saints game.
The former defensive tackle. now announcer, has been shambling around both end zones of the Linc for the better part of this week, speaking in hushed tones to himself and shying away the from worried security guards who have tried to wrangle him several times.
The announcer has been periodically speaking into an impromptu microphone made out of a discarded soda cup and gesticulating wildly to invisible television cameras.