Home Run Derby

Giancarlo Stanton unsuccessfully lobbies for new nickname after Home Run Derby

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Giancarlo “Mashed Taters” Stanton.

San Diego, Calif. РAfter an epic home run derby in which he hit 61 home runs to take the title, Giancarlo Stanton reportedly dropped several hints to his teammates and attendees at the 2016 All Star game that he was fishing for a new nickname.

The tremendous slugger apparently was heard having several loud conversations after his victory where he described how he hit “61 mashed taters” in the derby.

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Sad day as nation realizes this may be last time it will hear Chris Berman say ‘Back back back back’

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WHOOP!

San Diego, Calif. – Excitement for tonight’s 2016 Home Run Derby has been tempered across the nation, as baseball fans everywhere have begun to realize that this will likely be the last time they are able to hear longtime ESPN personality Chris Berman yell “BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK GONE!” before his retirement.

Millions of fans collectively mourned today as they realized they would never again hear Berman’s hilarious and not-at-all worn-out catch phrases in the home run derby after tonight’s event. Further depression sank in when they realized Berman would no longer be providing his entertaining collection of home spun nicknames and nonsensical noises during the upcoming football season as well.

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HR Derby champ Todd Frazier suspended for remainder of season

Todd Frazier, mere moments before he was stripped of his title belt (Photo Credit: USA Today)

Todd Frazier, mere moments before he was stripped of his title belt (Photo Credit: USA Today)

Cincinnati, Ohio – In a shocking announcement this morning, first year Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred announced All-Star third basemen Todd Frazier of the Cincinnati Reds would be suspended for the remaining 86 games of the season.

Frazier was reportedly suspended for his part in the home run derby scandal, Manfred said. After checking his Twitter feed and re-watching the derby this morning, the new MLB commissioner noticed Frazier’s pitcher released several pitches before his previous hits landed on the ground, a clear violation of derby rules.

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