Sad day as nation realizes this may be last time it will hear Chris Berman say ‘Back back back back’



San Diego, Calif. – Excitement for tonight’s 2016 Home Run Derby has been tempered across the nation, as baseball fans everywhere have begun to realize that this will likely be the last time they are able to hear longtime ESPN personality Chris Berman yell “BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK GONE!” before his retirement.

Millions of fans collectively mourned today as they realized they would never again hear Berman’s hilarious and not-at-all worn-out catch phrases in the home run derby after tonight’s event. Further depression sank in when they realized Berman would no longer be providing his entertaining collection of home spun nicknames and nonsensical noises during the upcoming football season as well.

“There’s nothing I like more than seeing finely tuned athletes bash home runs and having them called by bald, fat ESPN media personalities who overstayed their welcome in the spotlight by 15 years,” Anfernee Washington said from his St. Louis home.

“God I hope he screams out ‘BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK GONE’ just once tonight. That would make my day.”

Washington also said he was eager to see if Berman would also chose to dye what little remaining hair he had left platinum blonde like he did that one derby several years ago for god knows what reason.

Many hoped Berman would showcase his patented technique of talking with one of his fellow announcers about a completely unrelated topic while the home run derby action was still taking place.

“Really hope he starts rambling on about the football season and how he loves the Buffalo Bills chances for a Super Bowl appearance while people are socking dingers left and right,” Scott Granting of San Diego said.

“If he picks the Bills to win the home run derby I’d just lose it too. That never gets old. He picks the Bills for everything!”

At press time, Berman noted he would likely be slipping in a few “WHOOP” noises during the championship round instead of actually calling the event.


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