Reds

Area dads announce intentions to wax poetic about crack of the bat, green grass, all that horseshit

scwesxjbWith another opening day finally upon us, area dads have announced they plan to fondly discuss attending past opening day Phillies games with their fathers, their distinct memories of the smells of the old Veteran’s Stadium, and all the other horseshit that will be quickly forgotten by June.

Area dad John McMartin, 48, told reporters Monday that he planned to turn the game on today at 4 p.m., sit down with his son, Anthony, 9, and his daughter Jamie, 6, and watch the first two innings of the Phillies vs. Reds until all three inevitably lose interest and go their separate ways.

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HR Derby champ Todd Frazier suspended for remainder of season

Todd Frazier, mere moments before he was stripped of his title belt (Photo Credit: USA Today)

Todd Frazier, mere moments before he was stripped of his title belt (Photo Credit: USA Today)

Cincinnati, Ohio – In a shocking announcement this morning, first year Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred announced All-Star third basemen Todd Frazier of the Cincinnati Reds would be suspended for the remaining 86 games of the season.

Frazier was reportedly suspended for his part in the home run derby scandal, Manfred said. After checking his Twitter feed and re-watching the derby this morning, the new MLB commissioner noticed Frazier’s pitcher released several pitches before his previous hits landed on the ground, a clear violation of derby rules.

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