Area dads announce intentions to wax poetic about crack of the bat, green grass, all that horseshit

scwesxjbWith another opening day finally upon us, area dads have announced they plan to fondly discuss attending past opening day Phillies games with their fathers, their distinct memories of the smells of the old Veteran’s Stadium, and all the other horseshit that will be quickly forgotten by June.

Area dad John McMartin, 48, told reporters Monday that he planned to turn the game on today at 4 p.m., sit down with his son, Anthony, 9, and his daughter Jamie, 6, and watch the first two innings of the Phillies vs. Reds until all three inevitably lose interest and go their separate ways.

“It’s just a special time of year between a father and his kids. It’s a great day. I remember my father telling me about seeing games at the old Shibe Park with pop-pop, his memories of the freshly cut outfield grass, eating cracker jacks with his old man…and then leaving before the 6th inning because he was too hot and the concessions were too expensive. God, great memories,” he said.

McMartin noted he would likely promise Anthony and Jamie that he would take them to several games this season, but would backtrack on his declaration after their first attended game when it becomes painfully obvious that his children were both bored to tears by the grand old game and wanted nothing more than to be home playing on their iPads.

“And when I become angry at them when I realize how much I paid for three tickets, parking, and all they want is cotton candy from the vendors? Cherished family memories we’ll remember forever.”

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