Before the Celtics could count their money and head over to the Sizzler for some surf and turf, the slow, white, geeky chump T.J. McConnell hustled the shit out of the Celtics and sent them packing back up to Boston for a series that suddenly feels just a TAD bit different than it did Saturday night.
T.J. McConnell is the biggest hustler since Billy Hoyle terrorized the Venice Beach courts in White Men Can’t Jump.
Someone check the off-shore betting sites or the sports books in Vegas. Were any massive bets made on the 76ers to win the series after they fell down 3-0 after Saturday night? If there were you can bet they were made by McConnell.
He suckered them in like Billy Hoyle hustling Sidney Deane.
Billy Hoyle: “See, the thing is you guys look at me me, you see the backwards hat, the gray socks, the funky outfit and you say, now, this guy’s a chump, am I right? A fucking geek, exactly. But what you don’t realize is it ain’t easy…it is hard goddamn work making something this pretty look like a chump, or a geek, so I must be doing it for a reason….”
Does he need money to pay off a gambling debt from his college days? Does he have a gorgeous Latino girlfriend with the world’s most annoying voice? That remains to be seen…but you know he can definitely hear Jimi.
T.J. McConnell suckered the Celtics into believing he was a loser…an undrafted nothing that didn’t need to be taken seriously…and he sparked the Sixers all night long to their best played game of the series by far.
A career high 19-points, countless forced turnovers, showed up Terry Rozier all night long…and suddenly we have a series on our hands.
Oooooh boy, that ball may be gripped just a taddddddddd tighter in the Celtics hands Wednesday night. T.J. has hustled hell of a lot better players than them before….and he’ll be shooting at the Sudan all night long. He won’t even have to punt it up there and he’ll be able to use his right hand.
Maybe we’ll even be treated to a glorious T.J. dunk during game 7…one can dream.
Don’t be a chump. Buy your Phila Unite t-shirt in time for the next round.