Like a terminally ill person on his deathbed who just wants to see the ocean one last time, all I’m asking for is one 76ers win before my plug is pulled and all I have left is the unending darkness and empty void of a summer filled with nothing but the Phillies.

Get me that win and then you can roll me into the deep end of the pool. I swear I’ll go happy with a minimum amount of fuss.

This season can’t end, because then all we’ll have left is the Phillies. A summer with the Phillies is like being stuck in limbo, but worse. At least in limbo you know you may have a chance at ascending to heaven after your sins are washed away. After this weekend with the Phillies, I don’t think any of us believe we have a chance to get to the playoffs with this squad.

If Carlos Santana was the ferryman for the River Styx you’d give him your toll and he’d immediately run the boat aground, disappointing everyone. What a waste of money.

You owe us this much, 76ers. After three gut-wrenching losses (and one of the worst choke jobs I can remember watching in my life on Saturday afternoon) we need a stay of execution.

It’s silly to think the governor is going to call before midnight and give this team a reprieve. If it happens, great, but it’s not likely. I think we can at least hope for a rescheduling of the execution.

The fans deserve an open coffin funeral, Sixers, don’t get shot in the face tonight. It’s the least you can do.

One win may lead to two….two wins may lead to three….three wins can lead to four….and then I may wake up from my fever dream on May 14th and realize the 76ers lost their series a week ago.

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