Before the Celtics could count their money and head over to the Sizzler for some surf and turf, the slow, white, geeky chump T.J. McConnell hustled the shit out of the Celtics and sent them packing back up to Boston for a series that suddenly feels just a TAD bit different than it did Saturday night.
T.J. McConnell is the biggest hustler since Billy Hoyle terrorized the Venice Beach courts in White Men Can’t Jump.
Someone check the off-shore betting sites or the sports books in Vegas. Were any massive bets made on the 76ers to win the series after they fell down 3-0 after Saturday night? If there were you can bet they were made by McConnell.
He suckered them in like Billy Hoyle hustling Sidney Deane.
Billy Hoyle: “See, the thing is you guys look at me me, you see the backwards hat, the gray socks, the funky outfit and you say, now, this guy’s a chump, am I right? A fucking geek, exactly. But what you don’t realize is it ain’t easy…it is hard goddamn work making something this pretty look like a chump, or a geek, so I must be doing it for a reason….”
Does he need money to pay off a gambling debt from his college days? Does he have a gorgeous Latino girlfriend with the world’s most annoying voice? That remains to be seen…but you know he can definitely hear Jimi.