I may have found the most incorrect analysis of Ben Simmons’ game ever written

I’m not a huge fan of looking back at old predictions or player analyses and mocking them for how incorrect they turned out to be (unless they come from @OldTakesExposed, then they’re just hilarious).

Everyone is wrong once in a while, and when it’s your job to be in the prediction business you’re going to vomit out a clunker every now and again.

Fuck, the other day I looked back at some old Facebook memories where I was VEHEMENTLY defending Evan Turner to a friend, claiming that his “world class defense” made up for his “struggling, but growing offensive capabilities.”

OH, and also claiming that Evan Turner would have a “much, much more accomplished career” than Demarcus Cousins.

The moral of the story is, and always will be, that I am a complete moron.

But I found one analysis written about Ben Simmons after the 76ers selected him as the #1 pick in the 2016 draft. It’s so horrendously wrong that it boggles the mind. Did the author get the numbers of the jerseys incorrect? Did he think he was watching Simmons the entire season, when he was really watching Tim Quarterman or Keith Hornsby?

Here’s what David Gardner, a Staff Writer for Bleacher Report, said of Ben Simmons:

“I think that he is a good pick because his entertainment value is high for this first year,” he said. “But the character concern for me is not about him personally, I don’t think he’s going to get in trouble off the court or anything like that, but to me it’s does he make his teammates better? And he doesn’t. He doesn’t right now make his teammates that much better. He’s a good assister, but he’s driving, he wants the ball out of the point guard’s hands, he wants top be the guy with thee ball at all times. And unless you’re in a team position … where you’re going to let him do that I think you’re in a bad position and I think you’re putting teammates in a bad position.”

Now, I like David Gardner. I follow him on Twitter, I think he’s a good, entertaining writer….but David, oh my sweet David, what were you watching in college?

You watch Ben Simmons for two seconds and you quickly realize that he does several things at an elite level….and making his teammates around him much, much better is one of them. He’s already averaging 8 assists a game….he’s the definition of an unselfish player…

Take, for instance, last night. First quarter against the Jazz, Simmons is bringing the ball up and seems Richaun Holmes streaking up the court in front of an uninterested Rudy Golbert. What happens next? A perfect played ally-oop thrown from just inside the half-court line for an easy dunk. Rewarding the big man for running up the court with a perfect pass….almost as if he’s making him better….hmmm…..interesting.

It’s not hard to figure out. HE MAKES HIS TEAM BETTER, unlike a former piece of garbage #2 overall player who EMBARRASSED me to no end for defending his presence on the 76ers. GOD DAMN YOU, EVAN TURNER, I’LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU.

Keep making everyone better, Ben. You’re no Evan Turner, and for that I thank you.


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