Jahlil Okafor demands trade by end of the day before the snow

usa-today-8947756-0Philadelphia, PA – Jahlil Okafor has broken his silence on the swirling trade rumors that have surrounded him for the past several days. Okafor spoke up this morning up about his desire to be traded before the region is covered in several inches of snow.

The talented offensive center made a public statement this morning to the media, demanding to be traded by the end of the day.

“If you think I’m shoveling this shit tomorrow you’ve got another thing coming. Trade me now, get me a ticket out of town, let’s go. Chip chop chip,” Okafor said.

Okafor then worriedly turned his attention back to the Weather Channel and whistled softly to himself after the latest storm update.

“That doesn’t look good…4 to 6 inches…going to be a mess out there tomorrow morning.”

At press time, Okafor said if a trade could not be completed by the end of the day, he would settle for two loaves of bread, a dozen eggs and a gallon of milk.

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