Miles Austin takes wrong route to press conference, gets intercepted by street toughs

Miles+Austin+GQ+XLV+Super+Bowl+Party+Inside+zl13BUtWc60lPhiladelphia, PA – On his way to a press conference Monday afternoon to address the media after he was cut, former Eagles wide receiver Miles Austin took an incorrect route and somehow ended up in Camden.

The befuddled wide receiver wandered through the dangerous streets for nearly 45 minutes before disappearing.

Neither team representatives or family members had any idea how Austin had gotten away from his professional handlers, who routinely have to remind him about team functions, practices, games, and specific plays after they are called for in game.

“This just doesn’t seem right. Doesn’t look like Philadelphia, where is the NovoCare (sic) Central (sic), I know I’ve been there before,” Austin said. “Caham Den? I don’t remember this being anywhere near Philadelphia.”

“Excuse me, do you know where I am?” Austin reportedly said to a mailbox.

According to footage of a police camera released Tuesday morning, Austin was last seen wandering  down a darkened alley, loudly asking if anyone had seen “Skip Kelly” and if someone could escort him to the press conference.

“Could one of you tell me where I am?” Austin asked a group of young men dressed in red.

When the gang surrounded him, Austin attempted to juke the nearest thug and run away, only to tear every single ligament in each of his knees.

Camden Police representatives confirmed Austin’s whereabouts are unknown and he is presumed not missed by anyone.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s