Philadelphia, PA – A vocal majority of basketball fans across the country are claiming the Philadelphia 76ers are “waging a war against basketball, Christmas, and all that is holy” this holiday season every time the team wears their new red uniforms.
Joshua Feuerstein, a former pastor who now calls himself a “social media personality,” has been leading a charge against the 76ers for their decision to sometimes wear red uniforms during the Christmas season.
“They’re waging a war against basketball…every time they wear those jerseys it’s an affront to the Lord and everything we love about the game,” he said. “It’s a real shame that they’re choosing to wear red, a traditional color of Christmas, and they’re this putrid of a team. Can’t they stick to their white uniforms and leave Christmas alone?”
The 76ers, 0-7 on the year, have not won a game since last March. Basketball fans cross the country have been criticizing the contents of the 76ers red uniforms so close to Christmas.
Many are calling for a boycott of the 76ers if they do not shelve the special red uniforms until after the holiday season.
“I don’t need to watch this dreck and associate it with Christmas. What do I tell my kids, when their faces light up when they see the yuletide colors on TV, and then have their souls crushed after the 76ers get humiliated night in and night out? It’s a terrible problem,” said Randy Lojanna, a Kensington resident.
At press time, Pope Francis said he would have not come to Philadelphia if he had known the 76ers would play this poorly and wear uniforms that remind anyone of Christmas.
“It’s one of the holiest times of the year for our people. It should be a happy, festive occasion, reminding Christians of our savior’s birth,” Francis said. “Not reminding them that the 76ers can’t win a game to save their souls right now.”