Your 2015 opening day Phillies, a play in three acts

LA

Three hits? That’s all we got, three goddamn hits?

What's wrong, Tom?

Larry, you can’t say goddamn on the air!

LA

Shut the fuck up, Tom. ::hurls whiskey bottle, which smashes above a horrified Ben Davis::

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2015 Philadelphia Phillies! It’s going to be a long, long season.

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