BREAKING NEWS: Charlie Manuel declares entry into WWE Royal Rumble

Cholly

Charlie Manuel, all fired up for his return to the squared circle at the 2015 Royal Rumble.

Philadelphia, PA – During a hastily called press release, former Philadelphia Phillies manager Charlie Manuel declared he would be an official entrant into the 2015 WWE Royal Rumble, scheduled to be held at the Wells Fargo Center on Sunday, Jan. 25.

The annual event features 30 WWE wrestlers competing in an “over the top rope” competition to determine the number 1 contender for the WWE Championship, currently being held by Brock Lesnar.

Manuel, a lifelong wrestling fan, declared the event as a real “hoot” and vowed to knock some skulls during his time in the squared circle.

“My good friend Ric Flair always told me, ‘To be the man, you have to beat the man,’ and I always took that to heart,” Manuel said while he lacing up his red and blue boots.

The feisty manager hopped into a nearby ring and began squaring off with local wrestler Necro Butcher, a member of the Philadelphia wrestling promotion CZW, which was featured in the popular 2008 movie “The Wrestler.”

“Don’t you go using any of that shit extreme wrestling on me, this is a gentleman’s sport,” Manuel said, seconds before throwing salt into the grizzled wrestlers eyes and dispatching him with a picture-perfect knife-edge chop to the delighted “WOOOOOOOSSSS!” of the reporters on hand.

“Old Bob Backlund taught me this one…watch out now son!” Manuel said, ducking a chair shot from the Butcher and slapping him in Backlund’s patented cross-faced chicken wing submission maneuver.

necro_butcher

The Necro Butcher, moments before being taught a thing or two by Good Ol’ Cholly.

Manuel then grabbed a kendo stick – otherwise known as a Singapore Cane popularized by former ECW great The Sandman – from ringside and cracked the bamboo rod over Necro Butcher’s skull, easily putting him down for the three-count pin.

“That’s how you do it, you sum’bitch. Never let your guard down against old Cholly. I’m the dirtiest player in the game,” Manuel said, standing above the unconscious wrestler. He exited the ring, but not before sending a stream of tobacco juice into Necro Butcher’s face.

Manuel then pointed at a Wrestlemania 31, indicating his desire to be in the biggest wrestling event of the year.

This will not be the first appearance of a Philadelphia Phillies representative in the annual wrestling competition. Former Phillies GM Ed Wade was entrant number 15 in the 1998 Royal Rumble, wrestling in his decades old high school singlet. He was dispatched by Cactus Jack 30 seconds into his entry, receiving a steel chair shot to the dome and tumbling out of the ring.

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