A real cool dude.
I swear this is the last political post I’ll make in lieu of the 2016 election finally coming to a close. I’m sick of it, I’m sick of people arguing about it, and it’s time to move forward.
But damnit, there’s one thing stemming from this that still bothers me.
Jason Myrtetus, a producer of Mike Missanelli’s afternoon drive show on 97.5 the Fanatic, decided to tell listeners yesterday that he decided not to vote in the 2016 election.
Was he too busy creating a new, fake racist caller to replace Dwayne from Swedesboro? Maybe there was a two for one sale on turtle wax at his local Walmart and he had to stock up to keep his head nice and buffed?
With the stunning news that Donald Trump upset Hillary Clinton in last night’s presidential election, the future First Lady Melania Trump leaked a portion of her victory speech to the media this morning.
Trump will likely deliver the speech today or tomorrow. Here is the newly released excerpt:
Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god….is there an election today? There is, isn’t there? I saw people lining up around the block at my local community center and figured something had to be going on…and when I got into work this morning people were all talking about the “polls” and sporting their “I voted” stickers.
That finally tipped me off that something was going on.
Is it for President? Oh Jesus Christ it’s for president, isn’t it? Everyone is going to think I’m an IDIOT when I don’t share my opinion. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Who is even running? Ok, don’t panic, we can fake our way out of this, just go to Google.
::Googles 2016 election, gets back 150 billion results::