Hey Eagles, you want this Evan Turner signed mini-ball? Win three fucking games

Well well well, Sean Payton, two can play at this game.

Fat boy Sean Payton reportedly wheeled $265,000 and the Lombardi Trophy into a meeting this week, challenging his team to win “three fucking games” if they wanted the trophy and the Super Bowl victory bonus.

Some would call it a masterclass in motivation. Others would call it a cheap ploy to garner attention by a chubby coach who has done less with more than any other coach in NFL history.

Well you know what? I don’t see any New Orleans fans offering up anything of sentimental value to their team if they win this Sunday. So the Coggin Toboggan is announcing that we will officially bequeath this Evan Turner signed mini-ball to all members of the Philadelphia Eagles if they win this Sunday.

What an honor!

The mini-ball was procured by my brother, a low-level intern with the 76ers in 2010, who received this GRACIOUS item as all the payment he needed from the stingy franchise for literally months of work.

“There will be no money, but on your deathbed you shall look at this Evan Turner mini-ball and it shall remind you of all the good times you had with the 76ers. So I got that going for me, which is nice.”

The ball is invaluable, worth millions on the open market. Teams would KILL to get their hands on this piece of memorabilia, and it will be all yours, Eagles, if you vanquish the hated Saints this Sunday.

You want to etch your name into the heavens and forever be remembered by this city? Consider this a little extra incentive to go out and give it your all.

Forget portly Payton. Forget the Super Bowl bonus. This Evan Turner mini-ball is your goal.

Get after it. Go Birds.

Shop the Newest Philadelphia Eagles Fan Gear at Fanatics!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s