Philadelphia, PA – After their fourth home-win in a row in the young season, the 76ers franchise is scrambling to re-stock the victory confetti it shoots out of giant cannons after every win at the Wells Fargo Center.
The organization only bought enough victory confetti to celebrate eight wins at home, an optimistic estimation by all standards prior to the beginning of the season.
“God damnit…mix in a win on the road, I do not want to have to call the supplier this early in the year, it’s going to blow our entire yearly budget,” said Thomas Kincade, 76ers Operation Manager.
Prior to last night’s victory against the Miami Heat, Kincade unsuccessfully lobbied the game day organizers to load the cannons with leftover victory nacho cheese in case the 76ers won another home game.
“We have an overstock of nacho cheese at this point in the year. We overbought and it’s on the brink of going bad. Are you telling me the fans wouldn’t like to be covered in delicious nacho cheese after a victory? It’s delicious….come on, these wins are killing us. Confetti? Confetti is going to be what puts us in the poor house?”
At press time, Kincade had several interns cutting up old copies of unsold 76ers programs to stuff into the cannons in case the 76ers continued their home winning streak.