Philadelphia, PA – Citing his extremely full plate right now and a million other things he has to do, Philadelphia 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo woke up today and quickly realized he forgot all about the NBA free agency period that starts tonight at midnight.
When asked why the local sports media had been reporting all week that the 76ers would be heavy players in the free agency market, Colangelo said his dad must have been speaking to reporters again.
“God he does this to me all the time. Just let me live my life, Dad,” the harried Colangelo said, scrambling to find his cell phone. “It just completely slipped my mind, ok? Is Lebron James a free agent this year? Maybe we should call him? God this is not good, it’s Toronto all over again. How much money do we have to spend? I’ve got like $50 in my wallet, will that help?”
“Who is this Harry Barnes guy everyone is talking about? Is he a center? We don’t need another center on this team.”
A source close to the organization said Colangelo tended to do this every year, which then forced the GM to make foolish decisions to try and save face.
“Why do you think the Raptors signed Jason Kapono back in 2008 for a full mid-level cap exemption? Bryan didn’t even know who Kapono was just hours before that deal was made, he just saw he won the three-point shooting contest the year before. And don’t get me started on the Landry Fields signing in 2012. It was the only agent he
could get on the phone at such a last minute,” the source said.
At press time, Colangelo was drawing up a max-deal contract for Harry Barnes and desperately trying to get his agent on the phone .