Bryan Colangelo trades #1 pick for sack of magic beans

colangelo_headshotPhiladelphia, PA – Bryan Colangelo, GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, was sent to bed without his supper Tuesday evening after the local dunce traded away the rights of the number one pick in the 2016 NBA draft for a sack of magic beans.

Jerry Colangelo, Bryan’s father, expressly forbade him to trade the number one pick and had only sent him to market to purchase him a bottle of Centrum Silver.

Instead, Bryan excitedly returned home with a sack of red beans that he had swapped to the Los Angeles Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak.

“Mr. Kupchak said if I planted the beans in the backyard at midnight under a full moon my wildest dreams would come true, I had to do it!” Bryan cried, as Jerry looked down on him in disappointment.

Jerry shook his head and sighed deeply, taking Bryan on his knee and wiping the tears from his eyes and having him blow his nose.

“Maybe giving you your own franchise again was a mistake. Do you remember when you traded away all of the Raptors first round picks for a magic lamp? Did you learn nothing, son?” he asked.

At press time, Colangelo was still crying in his bedroom and was fantasizing about running away to the circus.

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