Philadelphia, PA – A former head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles made his opinions known this week as to who should be the next leader of the franchise.
Reid reportedly called owner Jeffrey Lurie and suggested he take a long, hard look at a cheesesteak from Tony Luke’s to lead the team for the 2016-2017 season.
“I owe everything I have to those sandwiches at Tony Luke’s. If I needed support or had a bad day, one or three of those delicious sandwiches would put me in a better mindset. Just one dripping with cheese whiz, tiny onions that melt in your mouth, I can practically taste it in my mustache as we speak,” Reid said.
“Well look at what we have here,” Reid said, running his fingers through his mustache and picking out a fossilized crumb from the depths of his whiskers.
Onlookers were horrified as the Kansas City coach then popped it into his mouth.
“See? You can always count on Tony Luke’s. I think that still had some cheese on it, my goodness,” Reid said. “That’ll make your engine run. Time’s yours.”
Reid reportedly then licked his lips for the next five minutes and stared into space.
At press time, Reid changed his endorsement to a 5-week-old pork chop he found in the folds of his back fat.