BREAKING: Records show Andy Reid on leaked Ashley Madison list

outsmartedNotable names keep popping up in the wake of the hacked Ashley Madison client list, but perhaps no name is as notable for Philadelphia sports fans as Andy Reid, who was shown to have used the site between 2003 and 2005.

Reid, coach of the Eagles from 1999-2012, was shown to have actively used the site to meet several women in the tri-state area. Reid, now a coach with the Kansas City Chiefs, declined to speak with Coggin Toboggan reporters who asked him for a comment.

Data shows Reid used the site actively during his three-year subscription and spoke with several women but never met with any.

The first, Amy Johnson, 46, of Malvern, was a wedded mother of two children who worked with Tastykake from 1988 to the present.

The Coggin Toboggan procured the 2003 Ashley Madison transcripts from the illicit couple’s first discussion.

WARNING. The following is most definitely an adult discussion and should not be viewed by children under the age of 18.

BigBoyAndy69: Hello Amy, how are you? My name is Andy and I have to say I’m very taken with your profile. I don’t normally do this, but how did you come to sign up for this site? Time’s yours.

AJ904: Andy, thanks for your message. Wow, you coach football? That’s very impressive! Well, I am married and I have to admit my marriage is falling apart so I hoped to find a bit of excitement on here. How about yourself?

BigBoyAndy69: Well, my wife is very loving but won’t indulge me on certain ‘eccentricities’ I tend to enjoy, so I wanted to put myself in a better position to succeed. Your profile says you work at Tastykake, is that correct?

AJ904: Yes I do! It’s a rewarding position and I really enjo-

BigBoyAndy69: Yes yes, that’s great, but what do you do there?

AJ904: I work along the manufacturing line of the Butterscotch Krimpets.

BigBoyAndy69: So, you actually get to touch them? Tell me how sticky they are….

AJ904: Sticky? I don’t know, what does that have to do with anyt-

BigBoyAndy69: Just answer the question.

AJ904: Well, I mean, I’m in quality control so they do get pretty sticky in the hot factory.

BigBoyAndy69: Oh yeah….so do your fingers get sticky? I bet that frosting melts a lot….

AJ904: Well sure they do….ohhhhhh I see what you’re doing, I like it…Oh yeah, my fingers get very sticky, I love to run them alllllll over my bod-

BigBoyAndy69: Just stick to the frosting.

AJ904: What?

BigBoyAndy69: I don’t need that other stuff. That’s on me.

AJ904: Well…the frosting is pretty good, I do taste it every now and again.

BigBoyAndy69: Oh yes, that’s right. Put me in a position to win, please.

AJ904: Umm…well some of them have too much frosting on them and I have to take them away.

BigBoyAndy69: Oh yeah, those ones have been bad. Very bad. I’ve got to take a better look at that.

AJ904: I guess? Sometimes the frosting kind of just explodes out of the production tube and goes all over the conveyor belt and I have to clean it up.

BigBoyAndy69: Oh god that sounds dirty.

AJ904: I suppose? It’s just a big mess and sometimes I’m covered in frosting at the end of the day.

BigBoyAndy69: Unnghhhhh I’ve done goofed.

::Reid signs off::

Coggin Toboggan records show Johnson tried to message Reid several times after this conversation and Reid never responded.

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