When The Coggin Toboggan wants to get serious it turns its coverage over to its editor and founder to bring everything to a screeching halt. Goodbye funny, say hello to self pity and depression.

Yesterday, we posted a video to the Toboggan that we purchased for a substantial sum of money that was reportedly the nefarious Dez Bryant video the media has been going crazy over for the past week. We couldn’t tell if it was fake, we couldn’t tell if it was true, so we left it up to our readers to decide.

Well, you decided and it was a resounding no. Yes, of course it did 100% feature Dez Bryant, but what we featured on the site was just a video of the star wide receiver’s vacation from several years ago.

How were we to know Dez and his wife are avid waterskiing fans and once contracted a dirigible to tow them around a lake, with jaunty music playing in the background? We had no idea.

So yes, it was partially true, but it did not show him doing something “five times worse” than Ray Rice. It was just a lovely waterskiing moment between two lovers.

We spent $800,000 on that fucking thing. God we suck.

Luckily for us, however, we were approached again yesterday with an opportunity to purchase what was guaranteed to be the real Dez Bryant video that has people so up in arms.

Yes, it is bad. Yes it is disturbing, but at the Coggin Toboggan we hold ourself up to the highest possible journalist integrity, so we would never hold back a story because of content.

Be warned, this is graphic. Dez Bryant, may god have mercy on your soul.