Philadelphia, PA – City residents, bars, girlfriends and wives are preparing themselves for this week’s estimated “Class-5 Burrell” set to slam into Philadelphia sometime Friday evening.

Experts are predicting this year’s devastation could be the worse yet, far worse than the “Class-4 Burrell” the city experienced in October of 2008.

“The last time Pat Burrell blew into this city it took Philadelphia months to recover,” said Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz. “So much destruction. We never thought we would get back on track, but we managed to survive. Unfortunately, from our early estimations this year’s Burrell could be bigger, more destructive, and far more drunk than the Burrell we remember riding on top of the horse drawn beer cart at the 2008 World Series championship parade.”

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