Did you hear the one about Bryce Harper being traded to Golden State?

Buckle up partner and strap yourself in, because I’m about to tickle your funny bone with an observation SO DROLL and SO HILARIOUS that you’re going to absolutely cream your jeans and have your mind BLOWN after I hit you with it.

Are you ready for this shit? Are you ready to be taken on a mystical tour of hilarity into the ethos of what comedy really means?

You’d better have 911 ready and on call, because you, my friend, are going to bust a gut when you hear this.

Ready? Take a deep breath, hold my hand, and don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you, I never would.

Bryce Harper, he of the Washington Nationals, a major league baseball team, has been traded to the Golden State Warriors.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….oh my GOD. How…..how is that even possible?! I’m dying, I’m dying, stop it you’re KILLING ME. He’s, he’s….oh god, but, he’s a BASEBALL PLAYER being traded to a BASKETBALL TEAM.

You see, that’s what makes it so hilarious. Golden State, you see, is stacked with talent and they just signed a superstar after winning yet another NBA championship, so the very idea, the VERY NOTION that Bryce Harper would be traded to the Golden State Warriors is DELIGHTFULLY FARCICAL.

Just a rollicking good time. Nobody else could have POSSIBLY thought of something so out of left field, could they?

Shit….well, okay, I started writing this around 8 a.m. I have the saved draft to prove it. He tweeted it out at 8:26 a.m., so I thought of it first.

Are there any others?

Son of a bitch. Comedy on Twitter has grown so stale. Doesn’t anyone have an original thought anymore? We need to do better, people.

Someone needs to be brave and take these observations to strange new levels….

Just call me Lenny Bruce, I’m a dangerous mother fucker.

Buy your Bryce Harper Phillies jerseys by clicking the banners below.

Shop Philadelphia  Phillies gear at Fanatics.com!

Shop Philadelphia  Phillies gear at Fanatics.com!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s