Buckle up partner and strap yourself in, because I’m about to tickle your funny bone with an observation SO DROLL and SO HILARIOUS that you’re going to absolutely cream your jeans and have your mind BLOWN after I hit you with it.

Are you ready for this shit? Are you ready to be taken on a mystical tour of hilarity into the ethos of what comedy really means?

You’d better have 911 ready and on call, because you, my friend, are going to bust a gut when you hear this.

Ready? Take a deep breath, hold my hand, and don’t be afraid. I won’t hurt you, I never would.

Bryce Harper, he of the Washington Nationals, a major league baseball team, has been traded to the Golden State Warriors.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA….oh my GOD. How…..how is that even possible?! I’m dying, I’m dying, stop it you’re KILLING ME. He’s, he’s….oh god, but, he’s a BASEBALL PLAYER being traded to a BASKETBALL TEAM.

You see, that’s what makes it so hilarious. Golden State, you see, is stacked with talent and they just signed a superstar after winning yet another NBA championship, so the very idea, the VERY NOTION that Bryce Harper would be traded to the Golden State Warriors is DELIGHTFULLY FARCICAL.

Just a rollicking good time. Nobody else could have POSSIBLY thought of something so out of left field, could they?

https://twitter.com/JoeCulotta/status/1024270065686986752

Shit….well, okay, I started writing this around 8 a.m. I have the saved draft to prove it. He tweeted it out at 8:26 a.m., so I thought of it first.

Are there any others?

https://twitter.com/iKenRochford/status/1024241463822110752

https://twitter.com/WojBurner/status/1024162993670680577

https://twitter.com/bricebokesch/status/1024157565373083648

https://twitter.com/SevyGOAT/status/1024125314820202496

https://twitter.com/anthonypshock/status/1024137630051643393

https://twitter.com/RyanLoco/status/1024127608840220672

https://twitter.com/WhatsOffWeekly/status/1024116818502397952

https://twitter.com/jeskesam/status/1024133638324211712

https://twitter.com/frankmurph32/status/1024271670973030400

https://twitter.com/JoeCulotta/status/1024270065686986752

https://twitter.com/jonnymattis/status/1024266369544671233

Son of a bitch. Comedy on Twitter has grown so stale. Doesn’t anyone have an original thought anymore? We need to do better, people.

Someone needs to be brave and take these observations to strange new levels….

Just call me Lenny Bruce, I’m a dangerous mother fucker.

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