Earlier this week the 76ers instituted a new “Club 76” waiting list and a tiered membership program for fans clamoring to buy season tickets. The highest tiered program allows fans to pay a fee of $76 to jump those not in Club 76 in the waiting list for season tickets.

The program has ruffled some feathers in the city, but the Phillies should take note of their across the street neighbors and create a waiting list of their own. Charge a fee, and  revenue will roll in hand over first for the franchise.

Seem unlikely? Hear me out. This is a billion dollar idea I’m giving away for FREE…if I don’t receive a phone call from one of the 953 owners of the Phillies I’ll be very insulted.

We’ll call it “Club 10,799”. Fans pay a nominal fee of $200 to join. Seem steep? Wait until you see what benefits a club membership gives you access too.

With this new policy in place, after the first pitch of the game Phillies employees will lock the doors of Citizens Bank Park and they will remain locked until the final inning is completed.

The doors can be opened for emergencies only, but if you want to leave early you’re shit out of luck….UNLESS you’re a member of “Club 10,799.” This exclusive membership allows you, the Phillies fan, to leave the game at any point you please.

Imagine it…the Phillies are getting blasted by the Brewers in their next home stand two weeks from. It’s the third inning, they’re already down 7 runs to the NL Central leading Brewers, it’s 98 degrees, and enough is enough.

If you’re a member of “Club 10,799” you get to stand up from your seat, walk up the flight of the stairs in your section, and experience the maximum amount of enjoyment anyone can experience with the Phillies this season….leaving the ballpark early. You don’t have to sit in traffic, don’t have to fight through throngs of angry fans that wasted hard earned money to see Odubel Herrera get picked off AGAIN…you get to leave early and get on with your life.

In addition to being able to leave the park early, “Club 10,799” members will be given a voucher upon their exit for 25% off any 76ers merchandise bought in the upcoming season.

$200 is a bargain for the benefits you’re receiving with “Club 10,799.” In addition, each game we’ll pick a random member of the club and give them full-access to the Owner’s Box, of which they can enjoy top-of-the-line food and alcohol and 25 flat screen televisions tuned in to various other sporting events taking place that night. We can guarantee you will be in the lap of luxury and not have to watch a second of the atrocity on the CBP Field.

I’m already writing out a $200 check to the Phillies. Let’s make this a reality.