Santa Claus Column: Alright, enough already

jonathan_g_meath_portrays_santa_clausAt this time every year, when I should be making my list and checking it twice, my Twitter and Facebook accounts blow up for about three weeks leading up to the big day. And do you know what most of my mentions are? Do you know what most of the “clever” comments I receive are about?

You guessed it…it’s always about Philadelphia booing Santa Claus.

Even during the Sunday night Eagles/Cardinals game, my good friend Cris Collinsworth alluded to an incident that happened decades ago, even though I specifically asked him to not bring it up on air.

Let’s put an end to this here and now…that wasn’t me in 1968. I was nowhere near Franklin Field in Philadelphia that day. I was busy, you know, being SANTA MOTHER FUCKING CLAUS in the North Pole.

Ho ho ho…sorry for the profanity, but this just gets me steamed.

It was some loser in a ratty uniform parading around AS ME that day. Of COURSE they should have booed him, he was mocking dear old Saint Nick!

I’m not even an Eagles fan (I’ll live and die a Browns fan, for the record. God they are terrible) but this horrible myth has to die a final death today.

Stop sending me tweets about it, stop posting on my Instagram, I don’t want to hear it.

Oh hey Santa, did you hear they were booing you again in Philadelphia this year?! Who boos Santa Claus?! Hardy har har….nobody does. They boo morons in horrible costumes, not the real Santa Claus.

Believe me, if I was there that day, nobody would have booed me. They would have basked in the big man’s glory, or I would have had to bust out my shiv and let old Marianne do the talking.

Nobody wants coal in their stocking, or a piece of sharpened metal in their kidney for DARING to disrespect me.

So, let’s let it end here. What do you all say? No more mentions of “Philadelphia booing Santa Claus,” I’m sick of it. We all are.

Michael Wilbon, you hack, I’m looking in your direction. Don’t even think about it.

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