Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk me

chipI’d wager every Eagles fan became aware they had ESP yesterday around 4 p.m. when the Redskins received the  back, down four, with just around three minutes to play. Every single fan knew, they KNEW in their hearts the Redskins were going to have a lengthy drive, score a touchdown, and the Eagles would lose by three points.

The narrative was too perfect. They would lose by three after their newly signed “kicker” had left four extremely easy points on the field.

Kirk Cousins of all people would lead his team down the field for the victory. Even Kirk Cousins’ parents didn’t think he would do it, they were leaving the stadium to beat the traffic before the game actually ended.

Holy shit that was painful. After cursing god for hours I sat in a dark room until midnight and wished curses upon all those who had wronged me. It was a nice evening.

Is Caleb Sturgis an avid Coggin Toboggan reader and actually read this article before the game? If he did, then I’d like to apologize to Eagles fans everywhere and I’ll have to start working on a new one where he quits football to do something worthy of his skills, like a janitor or a used car salesman, because he certainly isn’t a good enough kicker.

But this isn’t all on Caleb. No, you really have to take a nice, long, square look into Chip Kelly’s beady eyes and admit he might not know all that much about justing professional football talent.

Every one of his major personnel moves this season have been incorrect.

Let go or not re-sign two of your starting offensive linemen and then have the worst offensive line in the history of professional sports? Check. Roll the dice on a shaky, injury plagued quarterback who can’t play under pressure and looks like he is just stepping onto a football field for the first time in his life? Check. Sign an extremely talented, downhill running back for multi-years and millions upon millions  of dollar, and then only run him about 10 times a game so he’s completely fed up with you by week four? Check.

Watch as the quarterback you gave up on leads his team to a gutsy, impressive victory over an undefeated team? Check.

It’s really quite pathetic. How many times can Kelly call a run for Murray from the shotgun position and have him get hit three yards behind the backfield? For god’s sake run from the I-formation for two series, try to change it up a bit, maybe tailor your offense around Murray’s strengths for a change….because why did you sign him in the first place if you want him to play like a scat back when you couldn’t stand the way Lesean McCoy played?

I’m exhausted writing about this nonsense. 1-3? It’s insanity.

I bet Texas is going to be looking for another coach next year Chip…maybe take a long, LONG look at that opening.

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