Philadelphia, PA – Andy Macphail, leader of baseball operations for the Phillies, ordered Gregg Murphy to undergo a very dangerous carbonite freezing process earlier today. If successful, Murphy will spend the rest of the offseason encased in carbonite, waiting for the start of next year in suspended animation.
The newest Phillies executive ordered the carbonite freeze of Murphy as a test-trial for the rest of the broadcast team. He assured the bounty hunter that brought in the member of the Phillies announcing team he would be entirely compensated by the organization if Murphy did not survive the freezing process.
“You may take Murphy to the storage unit. He will be most safe, I assure you,” Macphail told the rest of the horrified broadcasters who watched their comrade slowly be dipped into the chamber.
Tom McCarthy and Murphy shared a tended moment just before Macphail began the process.
“I love you,” McCarthy said.
“I know,” Murphy said.
After the process was completed and Murphy emerged frozen in a horrified position, Macphail said he had survived the process.
At press time, Tom McCarthy, Matt Stairs and Ben Davis obediently lined up to be frozen. Larry Andersen, Scott Franzke and the Philly Phanatic simply left before their turn and vowed to spend the offseason in Las Vegas.