Chip Kelly: We won’t mortgage our future, but we will reverse mortgage it

Real estate tycoon Chip Kelly.

Real estate tycoon Chip Kelly.

Philadelphia, PA – At his press conference yesterday to address the recent Eagles wheelings and dealings, Chip Kelly stressed to reporters that he would not mortgage the team’s future to obtain Marcus Mariota in the 2015 draft.

He did, however, say a reverse mortgage would not be out of the question.

“Do I want to give up future picks in the draft in order to get just one player? Absolutely not. Do I want to reverse mortgage our future? I think it offers us some good options,” Kelly said. “I heard about reverse mortgages on a commercial the other day and it sounded pretty good. Getting paid instead of being paid? How is that not a win win?”

When pressed for more details, it became painfully obvious that Kelly did not understand how a reverse mortgages actually worked.

“I keep telling you, we’d get PAID instead of giving up picks to move up. How have people not figured this out yet? I mean, we’d be getting picks instead of getting them up, how are you guys not getting this?”

Again pressed with more questions, Kelly started to throw up any realtor and/or housing terminology he could muster in hopes that it would stick.

“Look, are we underwater right now? Perhaps. Is our debt ratio going to allow us to move forward and be successful? Well, if you look at our principal and the equity of Jason Kelce, you bet your ass we are,” he stated.

If all else fails, Kelly told reporters the Eagles could always just liquify their dividends and flip their assets for maximum capital in the 2015 draft.

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