Dimwitted Jason Babin eagerly awaiting trade to Eagles



New York, NY – With so many moves being made over the weekend, dunderheaded defensive end Jason Babin has been sitting eagerly by his phone since Sunday evening, convinced the Eagles will be contacting him soon to reunite the 2011 dream team.

“Do you see what those guys are doing? They’re spending all of this money, they’re bringing the dream team back together!” The dimwitted Babin said. “I can’t wait to get back in that locker room. Those guys loved me.”

Babin of course was referencing the notoriously hated 2011 “dream team,” which was declared by backup quarterback Vince Young before the start of the season. The team finished the year 8-8, with Jason Babin leading the team in sacks despite being the most hated member of the locker room.

The universally despised Babin was hated by teammates, detested by the media and loathed by the fanbase for his general asshole attitude during his two seasons in Philadelphia. Despite recording 18 sacks in his first year with the team, Babin was released the next year after declined production and several mind numbing statements about the team’s performance and the city’s fanbase.

The known chowderhead described those two seasons as the “best of my life,” apparently forgetting the disparaging remarks he made of the city’s fans after he was released. The mush-minded athlete apparently believed he would be welcomed back to the city with open arms, when in reality fans would relish the opportunity to hurl beer bottles at the steroid-riddled simpleton.

Even though he was one of the most hated Philadelphia athletes of all time and recently signed a new, one-year deal with the Jets, Babin remained optimistic he would soon be traded to the Eagles.

“I had the time of my life those two seasons and I know the fans will welcome me back with open arms,” he said, as he sat next to a toaster, mistaking it for his cellular phone.

“I can’t wait to go back to Trenton and play for the Eagles,” he said, forgetting that the team was from Philadelphia.

The dum-dum then severely burned the side of his face after eagerly answering the toaster when his cell phone went off in the other room.


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