Philadelphia, PA – The 76ers unveiled their new mascot today at the Franklin Institute, as Franklin the Dog made his grand appearance in front of a herd of young children. The cheerful blue dog will also carry a powerful message, said 76ers General Manager Sam Hinkie, as it will seek to educate families and children on the horrendous side effects of dog inbreeding and over breeding.
“Our happy go lucky mascot Franklin will delight fans of all ages, but also take time to educate and display the dangers of so-called puppy mills throughout the country,” Hinkie said. “You’ll notice he walks with a noticeable limp, a common symptom of hip dysplasia that plagues inbred dogs.”
As Franklin tumbled and played with the children, he randomly would snap at the unsuspecting imps, displaying the mood swings and unpredictability of an inbred animal.
“Hell, even the color of Franklin is a commentary on designer dogs. Did you think we were doing it to be cute? Well, maybe on one level, but it’s all about education with us,” Hinkie said.
Hinkie said during games when not entertaining fans at center court, Franklin would be traveling through the arena distributing graphic pamphlets highlighting the dangers of not getting your animals spayed or neutered.
Franklin the Dog narrowly beat out Harry the Horse, an overexerted, heat-stricken Cydesdale doomed to spend the rest of his days pulling a handsome cab through the city.