IT’S HAPPENING, THIS IS NOT A DRILL, DANIEL BRYAN HAS BEEN CLEARED TO WRESTLE

Everyone stay calm. I said to stay calm, deep breaths, try not to freak out. I SAID CALM DOWN GODDAMNIT, CALM THE FUCK DOWN RIGHT NOW ::hyperventilating:: EVERYONE JUST CHILL OUT. JUST CALM DOWN AND RELAX.

We’ve been preparing for this moment. Most of you called me MAD for my warnings, but who is the insane one now? Everything we’ve drilled for, everything we’ve prepared for, I’m sure you’re glad we did now, aren’t you?

It’s happening.

DANIEL BRYAN IS RETURNING TO A WWE RING AFTER BEING MEDICALLY CLEARED.

Have you ever smoked DMT? Apparently if you smoke DMT your brain releases the same chemical that induces dreams when you sleep, and apparently what your brain releases the moment before you die.

I don’t have to smoke DMT to know what that feels like. This is it, people.

On my deathbed when my son asks me what I’m seeing, I’ll squeeze his hand, tell him I love him. and let him know that the WWE Universal Championship looks glorious around Daniel Bryan’s waist.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

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