Buying a dead Eagles fan’s pendant from the morgue is a surefire way to become haunted

Have you ever wanted the opportunity to own something creepy from a dead Eagles fan you didn’t know?! Well now’s your chance, weirdo.

Brian Hickey from Philly Voice published an interesting article yesterday on the city Medical Examiner’s Office giving the public the opportunity to own a dead Eagles fan’s pendant from beyond the grave.

The article explains that when a person dies and comes to the medical examiner’s office, their “personal effects” are given to the next of kin or stored for a year in the office and then thrown away.

Now, because apparently Philadelphia is so cash-strapped it’s resorting to selling the items of its dead citizens for PENNIES ON THE DOLLAR, the Medical Examiner’s Officer is auctioning off FIVE Eagles medallions/pendants to the highest bidder (currently at $93.04) and those who are the most enthusiastic about being haunted for the rest of their lives.

This is literally how 90% of the horror movies I’ve ever seen start:

About to be cursed protagonist: “Wow, this pendant is gorgeous…what is that, an Eagles symbol?”

Medical Examiner: “Well, that one isn’t for sale. The person it belonged too…he…well, he wasn’t a good man.”

About to be cursed protagonist: “Oh come on. I need to have it, it’s so cool. Money is no object.” ::holds out a wad of bills::

Medical Examiner: “I’m not sure if I should…” ::takes money and hands over pendant::

About to be cursed protagonist: “What’s the worst that could happen?”

(The worst happens to them for the following 85 remaining minutes in the movie)

Think about it this way…you know at least 40% of those pendants, two out of the five, are haunted. It’s the law of averages. At least an additional one of them will carry some kind of curse (Gypsy, Egyptian, Witch, etc.) and a fourth will be possessed by whoever owned it in their past life, most likely a serial killer or cult leader of some kind.

The fifth will have been owned by a dead guy you didn’t know or have any emotional connecting to of any kind. That’s just as creepy.

Take a pass on this one, Eagles fan. You don’t need merch that bad.

Hey….you know what merch is 100% guaranteed to not be haunted or carry a gypsy curse? Eagles gear from the Fanatics! Click on the banner below, buy some merch, and lets keep this Toboggan rolling downhill, people!

Philadelphia Eagles NFC Champs

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s