Everyone’s favorite crotch-kicking, kiss-my-ass club founder senior citizen and owner/CEO of the WWE Vince McMahon is DEEPLY considering bringing the XFL back next year, and may even make the announcement on Jan. 25, 2018.

That may be kind of cool, right? Everyone remembers the XFL… the sprint to the ball before the game… “He Hate Me.” Remember him? OH GOD, WHAT A CARD. Who hates him? Oh yeah, he, he does. He hates him, so He Hates Me. It’s the 21st century version of an Abbott and Costello routine. Who hates him? FIRST BASE!

But more football can’t be a bad idea, right? They could learn from their mistakes, put out a better product this time around, and finally present an alternative league that could give the NFL a run for its money.

No thank you. Reviving the XFL would Vince McMahon’s worst decision he thought booking Al Snow and Big Bossman in a Kennel from Hell match would be a huge draw (wrestling nerds will get that…it’s hilarious, believe me).

There is no possible way this could EVER be a good idea. If you watched the ESPN 30 for 30 on the death of the XFL, the overarching theme of the two-hour documentary is that the football of the XFL was terrible. Just atrocious. Hell, Dick Ebersol knew the league was going to fail after watching ONE HALF of the first ever XFL game:

“By halftime,” Ebersol told Gay, “I knew in the pit of my stomach that this was really just terrible football.”
If you haven’t noticed, the quality of play in the NFL hasn’t exactly improved all that much since the XFL folded in 2001. In a world where T.J. Yates and Nathan Peterman can be not only be gainfully employed, but actually be called on to start at quarterback for NFL franchises during the season, do you really think the XFL will be able to field a talent pool that could even compare to what they had in 2001?

I sincerely doubt they’ll be able to find any diamonds in the rough like Tommy Maddox this time around.

The aura of football has changed drastically since 2001 as well. Every week it seems like you have someone in the NFL suffering a devastating concussion (Tom Savage basically seized on the field last week after a brutal headshot) or possibly being crippled for life (Ryan Shazier)….and these guys are the best in the world at what they do.

Are you telling me some schlub who washed out of an NFL training camp, the CFL, or the AFL is going to display “safe” tackling technique in an XFL game? They’ll be lucky if their brain matter isn’t openly leaking from their ears after the season is over. Knowing Vince McMahon from his wrestling product, he’ll probably institute an Oklahoma Drill prior to each game to determine who gets the ball first because it “looks awesome.”

Hell, the XFL on its first go-round wasn’t even that safe! If you haven’t seen then Orlando Rager quarterback Jeff Brohm’s glassy eyed stare as he trots his brain-dead corpse out onto the field just seven days after this brutal hit, just consider it a perfect PSA for why less-talented, yet still massive, athletes pose a considerable risk to the healthy brains of their opponents.

“I have two questions for you. One: Is this or is this not the XFL? … No really, is it? I’ve been real woozy since last week. Two: ……………. Let’s play football.” ::runs out of tunnel into the middle of a busy highway::

It’s brutal. His stilted, slurring speech before the game is a testament to why we don’t need more football, especially football that sucks and won’t entertain anyone.

Leave football to the NFL, Vince. Besides, in a few years you’ll have plenty of CTE lawsuits coming your way from former WWE wrestlers, you don’t need anymore brain injuries to worry about.