Philadelphia, PA – Human sweat-stain Marcus Hayes, appearing on Philly Sports Talk Live, had obviously finished “Making a Murderer” over the weekend as he tied the documentary series into a rambling, incoherent argument about how Ish Smith could have prevented Jahlil Okafor from getting into several altercations in Boston.
Pouring sweat down his jowls, Hayes said “the veteran leadership of Ish Smith would have stopped Okafor from having altercations, when out in public.”
He continued, tying his argument into the Steven Avery murder case that has gained so much attention in the country.
“Do you think Steven Avery would have brutally killed Teresa Halbach at his family’s junkyard if he had a good point guard in his life? No way. Veteran leadership goes a long way. Ish Smith could have talked him out of it and Avery would be a free man right now. I’ve even written that in print.”
Hayes went on and said Okafor would be much farther along in his pick and roll development and Avery would not have implicated his dimwit nephew Brendan Dassey in the brutal murder of a promising young woman if both had better point guards to guide them in the process.
At press time, producers of the talk show were frantically trying to cut Hayes’ microphone as he tried to explain the influence a good point guard could have on Kim Jong-Un.