This is why I come to America in the 1980s, for the two glorious months where large men fight one another with sticks on the frozen ponds. In Soviet Russia, we call this a marriage ceremony. America, what a country!

Much like the Alexander of Ovechkin, I came to America in search of a better life and to make jokes about what a horrible place Russia was to live. In America you play hockey with a frozen ball of rubber, but in Soviet Russia you played hocked with a hand grenade. Sudden death overtime had entirely different meaning.

Heh heh heh heh!

(more…)