Bo Ryan

Where I apply to be the next head coach for the University of Wisconsin

2000px-university_of_wisconsin_waving_w-svgToday, the University of Wisconsin published a job opening on its school website advertising for a new head coach of the university’s men’s basketball team.

Bo Ryan, longtime coach, announced his retirement earlier this season. I’ve had my eye on the job opening for a while now, but the university never made its search official.

Until today.

Now, I’ve always wanted to dabble in coaching a Division I NCAA basketball team. How hard can it be? Organize a few layup drills, see if everyone can make a left-handed layup, teach them my famous crab defense…100% guarantee I can take this program to a minimum of nine Final Fours in the next 10 years.

I play basketball every Thursday night with a number of skilled athletes, many of whom are under the age of 70. Don’t let their age fool you, though, they’re crafty and only one has dropped dead on the court in my entire time playing in the pickup game.

Previously I played ORGANIZED basketball in a highly competitive South Jersey youth league during my younger years. Do you think just anybody can hack it on those mean courts of South Jersey? Some of those hoops didn’t even have NETS on them, can you even picture that?

Here’s the posting.

I think I should go through this and see if I’m qualified for the job. I obviously am, but you don’t go into a job interview with a cocky mindset.