Kevin Mawae did what we were all fantasizing about doing yesterday to human bucket of ammonia Britt McHenry, as he put the bleached blonde gas bag firmly in her place after the attention grabber inexplicably tweeted a 10-part conspiracy theory about the Eagles Chris Long and his charitable contributions.

Perhaps a tad woozy arising from her coffin after a night of feasting on the blood of the innocent and small rodents, McHenry decided it would be a perfectly sane time to fire off several tweets criticizing Chris Long’s take-down of the new NFL National Anthem policy.

I’m not sure Nosferatu has much of an idea how tax write-offs actually work, but I’d have to wager that she hasn’t come close to donating a similarly proportionate amount of her own money to charities as Long has done.

Kevin Mawae, former all-pro NFL center, put the rock McHenry scrambled out from under solidly back on the “do you know who I am” cockroach and basically told her shut her gaping maw.

Thank you, Kevin. I would argue that she is anything but a “professional,” but I feel Philadelphia will get behind your main point.

Hopefully McHenry will see this later tonight after she rises from her sleep of the damned. I’ve strung several cloves of garlic around my home as a precaution and instructed my wife to not give permission to any pale, unnaturally blonde-haired Fox News women to enter our home under any circumstances.

I think I’ll go sharpen a few more stakes to be safe.

Lock those doors, Philadelphia.

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